


(Letting You) Sink In

by obsessive-fics (xoPrincessKayxo)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Phandom Reverse Bang 2018, Slow Burn, alternate universe- pirates, chosen family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoPrincessKayxo/pseuds/obsessive-fics
Summary: When Dan finds himself hostage on a rival pirate ship, it seems like the perfect opportunity to move up the ranks and become captain. What he doesn't expect, however, is the bond he forms with the crew's current captain, Phil.(Very loosely based on the tv show Black Sails)





	(Letting You) Sink In

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Phandom Reverse Bang 2018  
> Art done by the incredibly talented @dansphlevels  
> Beta'd by the wonderful @megaiolf

**Nassau, 1817**

This was not good. This was not good at all. Dan crouched under the deck, waiting for the sounds of fighting to die down. Of course, the minute he was close to his goal, their ship had been attacked. And his crew, God bless their hearts, were completely fucking useless. So now, here he was, months of earning their trust wasted, as he waited for them to finish getting defeated.

There was a noise, startling him. Someone was coming in, heading in his direction. He tried to focus on staying as still as possible and not breathing.

“You there! Show yourself.” Dan tensed. So much for that plan. He held his hands up and stepped out from his hiding place. And sure enough, he was met with a sword to the throat. Below deck was too narrow to jump out of the way of it, and he was unarmed. He was going to have to talk his way out of this one.

“You don’t really want to kill me, do you? All that work, and your sword is already so dirty…” he said, backing up against the wall as best he could.

“And why shouldn’t I?” the man wielding the sword asked gruffly.

“Your cook was killed, right?” Dan asked, even though he knew the answer. He’d stepped over his lifeless body on the way here.

“And? Get to the point.” _Touchy,_ Dan thought briefly. He’d have to work faster.

“Let me cook for you! I’m very good, this crew was always well fed,” Dan offered, hoping there was pre prepared food somewhere on this ship. He couldn’t cook at all.

“You’d give up your men, just like that?” he asked, lowering his sword.

“No use fighting a losing battle,” Dan answered, shrugging.

“Alright, fine. But I’m watching you. The minute I think something’s amiss, I will cut off both of your hands while you watch. And then I’ll kill you.”

“Noted,” Dan said, smiling at him. The man just scowled, and pushed him forward.

“Come on. Gotta ask the rest of the crew what we should do with you.” _Great._

* * *

 

Dan found himself standing in the middle of a ship, surrounded by pirates. They were taking a vote on whether or not to kill him-how democratic.

“Why don’t we just kill him?” one of the pirates asked, from where he was lounging against a stack of wooden crates.

“We lost Harry. And he says he can cook,” the man who’d found him explained. He was standing next to him, hand firmly on his sword, just in case Dan got any ideas. Like he’d try and take on an entire pirate crew by himself. He wasn’t exactly trained in combat.

“What’s everyone doing standing around?” a voice called, coming up from under the deck. Instantly, every person on deck froze. _Must be the captain, then_ , Dan thought idly. Maybe he could convince him to let him stay.

“Sorry, Captain. We’ll get sailing in a moment- just trying to decide what to do with the hostage,” Dan’s captor explained, gesturing to him with his sword.

The captain emerged, walking over and stopping in front of Dan. He was as tall as he was, which was new, and didn’t walk, as much as slinked like a cat. He looked Dan up and down slowly. Dan, for his part, tried to look as unbothered as possible.

“Can we use him?” the captain asked, staring him up and down with a disinterested, but calculating gaze. His eyes were the color of the sea, a stormy and unsettling blue. Dan looked away.

“Says he’s a cook,” one of the men called out.

“Then put him in the galley. I don’t have time for this,” the captain said, turning around dismissively. And with that, he was gone.

“Ball of sunshine isn’t he? Come on, dinner’s at dusk.” Dan inwardly breathed a huge sigh of relief, nodded and followed his captor to the galley.

Dan was relieved to find that there was enough bread to split up and divide amongst the crew. He wouldn’t be able to get away with serving them bread for long, but it would keep him alive for the night. He got started rationing it out, and then took a little for himself.

The crew were relatively unsuspicious of him. They took their bread and ate in silence. Dan looked around, noticing that the captain wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“The captain doesn’t eat with you?” he asked his captor, who’s name he’d learned was Billy.

“Nah, he stays holed up in his chambers doing God knows what. You can bring him his dinner though- he’d starve if someone didn't remind him to eat,” Billy replied, without ever looking up. Dan shrugged and headed below deck.

“Uh… Captain?” he called, knocking on the door.

“Come in,” the captain’s voice called back gruffly.

Dan pushed the door open to see the captain at his desk, hunched over a map. He had an actual parrot on his shoulder, which was in all honesty, kind of hilarious. There were papers strewn about everywhere, and a compass had rolled onto the floor in front of the desk. Dan reached down and picked it up.

“This place is a mess,” he said before he could think any better of it. “I mean… Sorry… Captain.”

“I like the mess. And skip the fake respect bullshit, just call me Phil,” the captain- Phil, said, without ever looking up from the map.

“Right… Well, I brought your dinner,” said holding out the plate.

Dan headed back under the deck, stunned. He was expecting the captain to be intimidating, sure, but there was something about his quiet stoicism that was off putting. Like looking out at the surface of the ocean, and knowing you’ll never know what’s underneath. Quickly, though, he shook the thought off. He didn’t have time for wondering what was going on behind the captain’s stormy ocean eyes. He had a plan to enact, and step one was gaining the crew’s trust. Including he supposed, the captain’s. He walked over to where his cot was, but there was someone sitting there. He walked closer only to discover it was a woman who was in the process of unbinding her chest. _What was a woman doing on board?_ Dan wondered, confused. He was relatively new to this whole pirating thing, but he was pretty sure female pirates weren’t allowed.

“Come any closer, and I’ll kill you,” she hissed, jumping up, and wrapping her arms around herself.

“How did you get here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, gesturing to the binding around her chest. She reached down to pick up her shirt, and pulled it on. “I’m serious, if you even think-”

Dan didn’t even let her finish, a plan was already forming. So no one knew she was a woman… A pirate with a deadly secret, the perfect ally.

“I won’t tell anyone… If you do something for me,” he told her, leaning against the wall.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” she said tiredly, sitting down.

“What? No, listen. I’m infiltrating this ship. I plan to gain the crew’s trust so I can take over as captain. I need your help- what’s your reputation around here?”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because if you don’t I’ll tell everyone about your little act. And I doubt they’ll take it as well as I have.”

“... Fine. Just don’t blow this for either of us, or you’ll get us both killed.”

“Perfect. I’m Dan,” he told her, holding out his hand. She just looked at it for a second, before shaking her head, resigned.

“Max. This cot is mine, don’t get any ideas,” Max replied, crawling into it and turning around. Well. That conversation was over then.

* * *

 

A few days of feeding everyone the leftovers already stored on the ship, Dan found himself standing on land for the first time in months. They were stopping at the base to gather food and supplies before setting off on another voyage. Something about a treasure of the coast of Spain, if Max’s word was right. The rest of the crew still stopped talking the minute they realized he was in earshot, which was fine. All in due time.

“Come on,” Billy said, grabbing his arm, and shoving him forward roughly, breaking his train of thought.

“Where exactly are we going?” he asked, but he let himself be lead forward. No use fighting it now.

“The kitchen. Everyone’s going to be hungry when they get out,” Billy explained as they walked.

“Out of what?” Dan asked. They were standing in the kitchen, where there was a dead pig waiting for them.

“The brothel. Stale bread’s not gonna cut it this time. I’ll be back in an hour,” Billy said, handing him the cleaver.

Dan looked down at the dead pig sitting on the counter in front of him. He was so fucked.

“You can’t cook can you?”

Dan jumped about thirty feet in the air, whirling around. There, sitting at the table was the captain- Phil. He was leaned back in the chair, with his feet up on the table. He was petting his parrot gently, who was tilting its head back into his hand happily.

“Shouldn’t you be at the brothel?” Dan asked in reply, ignoring the question completely.

“Shouldn’t you be begging for your life right now?” Phil asked lazily, not looking up from the bird.

“I can explain-” Dan started to say, but Phil waved a hand, cutting him off.  

“I don’t care. But the rest of the crew won’t take the news you lied to them well,” he told him, finally looking up.

“Well, what should I do?” Dan finally asked, slumping against the counter.

“I’ll teach you. We still need a cook, and if I kill you, I’d need to replace you.”

“Don’t I feel appreciated.”

“Do you want my help, or do you want the crew to eat you alive?”

“Couldn’t you.. Stop them from doing that?”

“Probably. Now, first thing’s first…”

Phil spent the rest of the afternoon teaching Dan the basics of how to get around the kitchen. They prepared the pig for dinner, and then headed outside to roast it. Then he taught Dan how to prepare vegetables for soup. He was a surprisingly patient and effective teacher. They were standing over the fire, mixing the meat into the soup, talking aimlessly when a voice interrupted them.

“You can’t be serious about this.” A blonde woman was storming over to them, Max being tugged along behind her. Max’s hair was tied back up under her hat and she was wearing loose-fitting clothes. If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d think she was just one of the guys.

“Nice to see you too, Elizabeth,” Phil replied, turning to her. Elizabeth just glared at him.

“I didn’t mean to tell her, I swear,” Max said when she caught up.

“Spain? Spain? Do you know how dangerous that is?” Elizabeth demanded, crossing her arms.

“Shockingly, yes. But there’s an island just off the coast. It’s perfect,” Phil explained. Dan turned to Max for some sort of explanation, but she just shrugged. He was so lost right now.

“So your plan is to steal from the Spanish navy, and set up camp right in their backyard?” Elizabeth continued angrily. _That was a pretty risky plan_ , Dan noted idly.                                                                                                                                        

“Something like that. At least temporarily until it’s safe to return here. It’ll be the first place they look,” Phil told her, but she didn’t look convinced.

“And what if you get caught? What if you get yourself or your men killed?”

“Occupational hazard,” he replied flippantly.

“He wouldn’t have wanted this,” Elizabeth said softly, which was apparently the wrong thing to say. It was almost fascinating to watch, the way Phil’s face closed off completely.

“That doesn’t really matter anymore, now does it?” was all he said in reply, before sulking off. Elizabeth watched him leave and groaned.

“I’ll be in my room,” she said, squeezing Max’s hand and walking away.

“What was that about?” Dan asked, turning to Max.

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, you made real food!” she said, taking the ladle from him, and holding it up to her face.

“Yeah… So no one’s going to tell me what’s going on?” he pressed again. Max looked conflicted for a moment, then shook her head.

“Look, whatever Phil and Ellie talk about, they’re the only two who know. She won’t even tell me what’s going on with him,” she explained, before straightening up. “I’ll go get some bowls.”

“Ellie?” Dan asked, confused.

“Elizabeth. The very angry blonde I should probably get back and console,” Max replied, shrugging.

“Oh, right. Wait, are you two- does she know..?” Max just rolled her eyes.

“Not very observant are you? Yes and yes. Also, you’d better put this plan of yours into action soon. You can’t really become captain if the whole crew is killed by Spaniards.” With that, Max headed for the kitchen. She brought out enough bowls for the crew, and set them down next to him, before leaving without a word, presumably to go to Elizabeth.

* * *

 

The rest of the crew returned almost exactly on schedule, all in much better moods than they’d been when they got off the ship. They cheered excitedly when they saw what was for dinner, and sat around the fire. Everyone ate quickly, talking, drinking, and laughing. It was the most peaceful night Dan had had in months, but he couldn’t help but notice someone was missing. He stood up, grabbed a bowl, and headed for the fort at the center of the base.

He found Phil pretty easily. He was sitting at the window of the fort, his bird flying around lazily.

“You put all this work into cooking this, you might as well eat it,” Dan pointed out, walking over to him.

“Hm? Oh. You can put it over there,” Phil replied, but he didn’t look away from the window.

“You sure you don’t want to come down to the beach? Billy’s telling everyone the story of how he got his eye taken out,” Dan told him, hesitating. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt the need to press this. Phil was an adult, if he wanted to sit and sulk all night, that was none of Dan’s business.

“Rival crew, two years ago. We barely made it out alive. He tells that story whenever he’s drunk,” Phil said flatly.

“Well, maybe you should have a drink too. It might lighten you up a bit,” Dan answered, before he could think better of it. To his surprise, Phil actually started to laugh.

“You’re probably right,” he said, standing up, and picking up his bowl. “Ship leaves tomorrow at daybreak, alert the rest of the crew.”

“Seriously?” Dan asked incredulously, but Phil was already leaving the room. _Did he practice those dramatic exits?_   Dan wondered, looking after him. Then he remembered there was a very drunk pirate crew he now had to tell to be ready by daybreak, and shook his head. Better get down there now, before they got too out of hand.

The next morning, they were packing up the ship with food and weapons, getting ready to go. Max arrived last, hand in hand with Elizabeth, who still looked less than thrilled about this whole thing.

“You better know what you’re doing, Lester,” she said the minute she saw him.

“I do. Max will be back to you safe and sound before you know it, I’ll make sure of it,” Phil reassured her.

“Max isn’t the only person I’m worried about,” Elizabeth replied, looking at him pointedly.

“Yeah, well he should be,” Phil answered, but softened visibly when he saw the look on her face. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be careful.”

“You better come back in one piece or I’ll kill you,” Elizabeth said, and then reached over to pet the parrot, who was in its usual spot on Phil’s shoulder. “Bye, Lola. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.” Dan had the distinct feeling this wasn’t a conversation he was meant to overhear, but he couldn’t stop listening.

“She will,” Phil said to her, and then to the rest of them, “Everyone, on board now!”

Elizabeth stood on the beach, waving them off as they sailed away. Max stood at the stern of the ship, waving back to her until they couldn’t see the base at all.

“So what’s the plan, Captain?” Billy asked, after everyone had settled in.

“There’s a Spanish naval ship that’s on its way back to Spain was we speak. We intercept it, raid it, and camp out on the island until we get word from Elizabeth they’ve left Nassau,” Phil explained to everyone.

“Are we sure we have the weapons to take on a naval ship?” one of the men, Jack, who Dan had met the night before, asked uncertainly. Phil didn't say anything for a minute, just walked over until he was completely in Jack’s space.

“Are you questioning me?” he asked evenly.

“No, of course not, Captain,” Jack replied quickly, throwing his hands up.

“Good. Now, all of you, get to your stations. Howell, you’re with me.”

“What about me?” Billy asked, looking equal parts hurt and confused.

“You can be on lookout,” Phil told him, handing him the spyglass. Billy looked like he wanted to argue, but took one look at Jack, and seemed to change his mind. Dan was just as confused, but he followed Phil to his chambers.

“You and Max seem close,” Phil noted, sitting down at his desk. Before Dan could reply, Lola flapped into his face, squawking. He waved her off, annoyed. Stupid fucking bird.

“Yeah, I guess. We… Have an understanding,” Dan replied, shrugging.

“What we’re about to do is dangerous. Really dangerous. I’m trusting you to look after Max. Elizabeth will be fine without me, but definitely not him,” Phil explained, unrolling his map. Dan didn’t understand how he found anything in this mess. Even what he assumed to be Phil’s cot was covered in papers and swords.

“Are you not planning on making it out of this alive?” Dan wondered. Phil seemed to be talking awfully fatalistically, and that didn’t bode with with him.

“I am. I’m just willing to take risks I can’t have Max taking,” he replied, writing something Dan couldn’t see.

“But you can have me take them?” Dan asked, even though he probably shouldn’t have been surprised.

“You’re a cook that can’t cook. Pretty expendable if you ask me,” Phil pointed out, shrugging.

“Fine. I’ll look out for Max,” Dan agreed reluctantly.

“Cute of you to think you have a choice,” Phil said, looking up for the first time and giving him an entirely too self satisfied smirk. Right. He’d almost forgotten about that.

“See you at lunch then?” Dan asked, instead of dwelling on it.

“Did you prepare the fish like I showed you?”

“Salted and preserved. Should last at least a week. And then we’ve got enough bread and vegetables for the rest of the trip.”

“You learn fast,” Phil said, maybe, just maybe, sounding a little impressed. Dan bristled with pride at this, which was.. New. It made him feel something he didn’t want to think about right now. Or ever. He waved goodbye and headed back onto deck.

The next few days passed without incident. As the new member of the crew, it was Dan’s job to scrub the deck, and it was unpleasant, but sometimes Max would help out, or sit and talk as he worked, which made it a little more bearable. He and Max had grown fairly close in the short time they’d been at sea, both glad to have someone they could talk to without hiding. Max told him about Elizabeth- how Max had stowed away on a ship returning to Nassau, and Elizabeth caught her trying to sneak off the ship, how she’d taken in her in immediately, and they’d slowly fallen in love, and how Elizabeth hadn’t stopped her when she’d decided she wanted to join a crew officially.

Dan didn’t offer many stories in return. No one wanted to hear another orphan story- living on the streets, being taken in by the wrong crowd… Nothing about that made for a particularly exciting tale.  Besides, he was more than content to listen to Max and watch the way her eyes lit up when she talked about Elizabeth, and almost forgot to keep her voice from getting too high.

Dan was getting along pretty well with the crew too- they let him drink with them, listen in on stories they told, and even tell some of his own (all of his stories were completely fabricated, of course, but they didn’t need to know that). Everything was going completely according to plan. The minute he knew he had the crew’s complete and total trust, he could make his move to take over as captain. As for the current captain- he still spent most days holed up in his chambers. Dan was the only person who ever really saw him- he’d come visit the galley at mealtimes to make sure Dan wasn’t completely fucking everything up, and they’d talk and laugh amicably.

As it turned out, one of Phil’s favorite things to do was sneak up on Dan while he was trying to figure out what the hell he was doing, and jump out at him. Dan thought it was ridiculous, but every time Phil would laugh like it was the funniest thing that ever happened. And it was… Kind of a nice laugh, deep and buoyant, so Dan didn’t mind too much. And if it was kind of endearing the way Phil‘s whole face scrunched up, and his tongue stuck out a little… Which Dan absolutely did not notice, not even a little bit.

With the whole pleasant air of the ship so far, Dan almost forgot why they were at sea. Until Max roughly shook him awake one morning.

“Get up. It’s time,” she whispered harshly, grabbing her sword and a gun.

“It’s… Wha?” Dan muttered, still not fully awake yet.

“We’ve set sight on the Spanish warship. We’re gonna need to move fast while we still have surprise on our side.”

Dan sat up, noticing for the first time that everyone was up out of their cots, gathering swords, knives and guns. This was really happening. _Shit._  

“Hey, Max? You wouldn’t happen to have an extra sword, would you?” he asked, but Max just rolled her eyes.

“Of fucking course not. You should’ve grabbed one while we were on Nassau- just ask Phil, he’s got a bunch in his chambers,” she called over her shoulder, hurrying above deck.

“Uh...Captain… Phil?” Dan called, sticking his head into Phil’s chambers.

“What do you want, Howell? I’m a little busy here,” Phil replied. He was coaxing Lola into her cage. Even when preparing for battle his first thought was that stupid bird.

“Can I, uh, borrow a sword?” Dan asked, stepping inside.

“You don’t have a sword,” Phil said closing the birdcage, and turning to face him.

“No…” Dan admitted slowly, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.

“How have you gone all this time without having a sword?” Phil asked incredulously.

“I can usually, you know… Get out of the fighting part of all this,” Dan admitted, shrugging.

“Jesus Christ. You better not get anyone killed. Just… Stay out of the way, and jump in front of Max if necessary, got it?” Phil instructed, handing him a sword.

“Got it. Shall we get going then?” Dan asked brightly. Phil just glared at him, and pushed past, officially in battle mode.

What happened next was a blur. They descended on the Spanish naval ship at once, effectively taking them by surprise. Everyone moved with such accuracy and grace, it was almost awe inspiring to watch. Dan, for his part, dodged swords and bullets while he tried to find something valuable to take back to impress the rest of the crew. He’d just set sights on the captain’s chambers- there had to be something in there- when he saw Max being pushed down. He briefly considered leaving her there, but the minute he saw the naval officer lift his sword, he knew he couldn’t. He ran over, using the chaos of the fight to keep from being seen, and hit the officer on the back of his head with the hilt of his sword. Max rolled over to avoid impact.

“Thanks,” she said jumping up.

“Don’t mention it. Come on, cover me,” Dan replied, and Max nodded. She fought and slashed her way through every naval officer they came in contact with, and they finally found themselves in the captain’s chambers.

“What exactly are we doing in here?”

“It’s the captain’s chambers, there’s got to be something valuable in here,” Dan explained, rummaging around. He filled his pockets with some of the usual jewels and gold, and was about to call it a day when he saw it. A map. A treasure map. A literal fucking treasure map. _Yes!_

“Max, how long do we have until we have to get out of here?” Dan asked, already rolling up the map. A bang came from the other side of the door

“Not long!” Max called back, backing up from the door. The captain of the ship had burst in, and he was holding his sword to Max’s throat.

“Where is it?” he demanded, as he backed into the room. Dan had to act quickly. He looked down, trying to memorize the map as fast as possible.

“Dan! Just… give it to him!” Max demanded, his sword still at her neck. There was a bowl of water on the desk.

“Looking for this?” Dan called, earning the captain’s attention. He shifted focus from Max, and came towards Dan. He was charging towards him, but Dan was too fast- he went to dump the map in the water, but the ship’s captain was just as quick, knocking the bowl of water over.

“Hand it over!” he shouted, but Dan managed to duck past him, hopping over the desk, and running out, Max close behind him.

“What the fuck are you two still doing here?” Phil asked, pulling his sword out of some guy’s neck.

“We found a map,” Dan started to explain, but the captain was already behind him. He very nearly avoided the naval captain’s sword in his back.

“And I take it he wants it back,” Phil replied, reaching around Dan to punch him in the face. The naval captain stumbled backwards, taken by surprise.

“That would be correct. So, we have to destroy it,” Dan explained, ducking as the naval captain came at him with his sword again.

“Seriously?” Phil asked incredulously.

“Just trust me, I’ll explain later!” Dan called, ripping the map in half.

“Fine,” Phil conceded, holding the naval captain back as Dan threw the tattered pieces of the map overboard. The naval captain charged at him, ready to push him over as well, but before Dan knew it a sword was being plunged through the guy’s chest. Phil pulled the sword out of his back, and pushed him down.

“Let’s go,” he said, sheathing his sword, like this was a perfectly normal afternoon. Then again, for the captain of a pirate ship, maybe it was.

* * *

 

Once they were back on the ship, Phil grabbed Dan by the arm and dragged him into his chambers without a word. He closed the door and walked over to sit at his desk, unnervingly calm.

“Well, I’d say that went pretty well, wouldn’t you?”

“What the fuck, Dan?” Phil snapped, slamming his fist down on his desk, “Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

“I memorized it.”

“... What?”

“The treasure map. I memorized it.”

“So?”

“So, there’s a treasure and I’m the only person who knows where it is. Do you have any idea what we could do with that?”

Phil leaned back, looking contemplative. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he sighed.

“I want half.”

“Or… you could have forty percent?”

“Or… you could meet the end of my sword.”

“Half. Half is fair,” Dan agreed, holding his hands up.

“Another thing… How do you not know how to sword fight?” Phil asked, a lot calmer now that they’d agreed on splitting the treasure. Dan winced immediately.

“I know how to sword fight,” he argued instinctively.

“Then let’s go right now, on the deck,” Phil replied, already standing up.

“Okay, okay… I don’t know how to sword fight,” Dan admitted, deflating.

“You don’t cook, you don’t sword fight, and you definitely don’t listen… What kind of pirate are you?” Phil asked, but he sounded more amused than angry. He stood up to let Lola out of her cage, and fed her a treat.

“A good one?” Dan offered, with his most winning smile.

“I’ll teach you. You’re in charge of Max, and you can’t protect him if you can’t even hold your own in a sword fight,” Phil replied, as if he hadn’t spoken at all.

“Max can take care of himself,” Dan pointed out, huffing. He’d seen Max out there on the Spanish ship- she’d been taking down soldiers left and right. She didn’t need his help.

“You need to learn how to sword fight,” Phil asserted, and his voice definitely didn’t leave any room for argument.

“Okay… Okay, fine. See you at dinner then?” Dan asked, his hand already on the door. Phil just nodded, already starting work on something on his desk.

“And um… thanks for saving my life earlier,” Dan added, opening the door.

“Don’t mention it,” Phil answered, looking up briefly. Something felt different between them then. Like they understood each other. Dan nodded and walked out, shutting the door behind him. No use dwelling on that.

The crew was in much better spirits after their raid being successful. They spent the next few weeks enjoying the spoils of all they’d stolen- fresh food, nicer clothes… They all slept a little better, a little fuller, Dan included. He sat on his cot with Max as she read to him from a book she’d snatched while they were raiding the ship.

“So, how’s your plan going?” she asked, lowering her voice.

“It’s coming along, I think. They don’t stop talking when I enter the room. And, I beat Billy at that drinking game last night,” he replied, laughing slightly at the memory.

“Oh yeah,” Max replied, laughing too, “you came back and passed out immediately. Whatever dream you were having must have been good.”

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, shifting so he was looking at her.

“I don’t know, you usually look so tortured when you sleep- like you’re waiting for someone to attack at any minute. But it wasn’t like that last night,” she explained, shrugging.

“Do you make a habit of watching me sleep?” he teased, instead of taking the time to reflect on exactly what that meant.

“No,” Max replied, shoving him, “I’m just saying, I noticed. You seem happier lately.”

“I guess it’s just been a while since I’ve felt like I was part of something you know?” Dan asked. He’d spent most of his childhood running errands for a gang he’d been caught stealing from. They gave him food and shelter, but he was never a part of them, not really. Eventually, he got old enough for the errands they expected of him to be much more violent than he was comfortable with. So one night, he snuck out and hopped onto the first ship he saw. Max opened her mouth to reply, when Billy came bounding in.

“The ship’s under attack. All hands on deck,” he said quickly, and then hurried upstairs. Max jumped up immediately, reaching for her sword, but Dan froze. It was one thing to infiltrate another ship- avoid the majority of the fighting, find the most valuable thing on the ship, and get the hell out of there. There was nowhere to run here, this was _their ship._ Max was here. Billy was here… Phil was here. They had to defend it. Max noticed him freezing up and walked over.

“You may not be the best fighter, but you’re fast. Run, confuse them, catch them off guard. Even if you don’t quite know how to use it, a sword’s pretty deadly. You can do this,” she told him, handing him his- _Phil’s_ sword. Dan nodded and took it. He wasn’t about to start over with a new crew, not when he was this close. He could do this.

Dan followed Max above deck where the fighting was in full swing. Dan almost couldn’t tell who was who- there were swords, bullets, and bodies flying everywhere. Before he could really asses the situation, one of the men of the rival crew came barreling toward him. Dan sidestepped his attack pretty quickly, but the man got back up. Dan’s grip tightened around his sword. This was happening, whether he wanted it to or not. He unsheathed it, slashing wildly at the man. He got a few good swipes in, on his arms, and on his face, but the man wasn’t giving up. He rushed toward Dan with a growl, who without thinking, pushed his sword forward, right through the guy’s chest. He pulled the sword out, and the man fell to the ground with a thud.

Dan laughed in disbelief- he’d actually done it! He’d gotten out of a fight alive! He ran to the middle of the deck, side stepping fight after fight to see if anyone needed help. To his surprise, Phil was locked into a sword fight with what he assumed to be the captain of the other ship. He was holding his own- matching the other captain blade to blade, but he was being backed up against the side of the ship. Another step back, and he’d fall overboard.

Almost on instinct, Dan slinked over, careful not to be seen. Phil saw him, but didn’t change his expression at all. He was fully leaning over the side of the ship now, holding his sword against the other captain’s. Dan took one step closer, and slashed the back of the other captain’s neck. He stumbled backwards, and turned to see the source of the attack, but Dan was ready. He pushed his sword forward as harshly as he could, stabbing the guy straight through his stomach. The rival captain sank to the floor, dead. To Dan’s surprise, Phil picked up the dead body and headed for the mast of the ship.

“This is your captain! Either get the fuck off of our ship, or risk meeting the same fate he did!” Phil called, and like roaches, the rest of the crew fled almost immediately. It was an impressive victory overall, they hadn’t lost too many men, and from what Dan could see, people were only mildly injured. Max was sitting down, dressing a wound on her leg, and Billy and some of the rest of the crew were throwing the bodies of the defeated overboard.

“You’re bleeding,” Phil pointed out, materializing next to him. Dan shifted his attention from Max down to where Phil was looking. On his shoulder, there was a gaping slash from the sword fight he’d gotten into earlier. He hadn’t even noticed.

“Come on,” Phil said, and Dan didn’t even bother questioning him before following him to his chambers.

Phil opened the door and gestured for Dan to sit down on his cot. It felt weirdly invasive to sit where he knew Phil slept, but Dan obeyed, sitting down. Phil grabbed a rag and a bowl of water, and sat down next to him.

“I told you to watch out for Max,” Phil reprimanded, pressing the wet rag into his shoulder. Dan tensed in pain, but didn’t shrink away.

“Max was fine, you weren’t,” he replied without thinking. He didn’t even really know why he did it. He’d noticed Phil in danger, and his body had acted on impulse. He didn’t regret it though, not really.

“You’re not supposed to worry about me. I would’ve been fine, and even if not, who cares?” Phil asked, not looking up from where he was cleaning Dan’s wound.

“The crew cares. Elizabeth cares,” Dan pointed out. He’d never met anyone with as little regard for their own life as Phil seemed to have. It was unsettling.

“The crew only cares to have someone they can use. Someone to lead them to what they need,” Phil replied, shrugging. He still wasn’t looking at him.

“And Elizabeth?” Dan risked asking. Phil looked up then, that same steely expression he held when he was trying to hide how he felt.

“She’d get over it,” he said finally.

“She cares about you. A lot,” Dan pointed out. Phil pressed harder into his shoulder, making him hiss in pain.

“You don’t know anything about us.”

“I wasn’t… I’m just saying, I could tell the two of you are close,” Dan explained.

“We are,” Phil admitted, softening up. He grabbed a clean rag and held it up. “I need you to take your shirt off.”

Dan acquiesced, and Phil set to work, wrapping the rag around his shoulder. They were silent then, and the air between them was heavy. Each of Phil’s movements were deliberate, slow, gentle, much different from his usual way of doing things. When he was finished, he didn’t move for a second, just stayed there, his hands on Dan’s shoulder.

“Ever since James…” he trailed off, and pulled his hands away.

“James?” Dan asked, turning towards him.

“He was Elizabeth’s brother. They were very close. Their family was a military family, so when the time came, he enlisted,” Phil explained, but Dan could tell there was more to this. He wasn’t sure whether to push or to just wait. Eventually Phil decided for him.

“I enlisted too. Imagine that! Me, serving the crown. But to James, it was everything, and me? Well, I’d follow him anywhere. So I did,” Phil continued, running a hand through his hair. This seemed really hard for him to talk about. Dan, unsure what else to do, reached out and patted his shoulder gently.

“What happened to him?”

“We got careless. He wanted to visit his family before we shipped off. His father had decided not enough war efforts were being put towards the real evil- pirates. James didn’t think pirates were evil though, just that they needed to be rehabilitated. Not hanged or punished. They got into a really big fight about it. He seemed so upset, I just…” Phil trailed off and shook his head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. What happened?” Dan pressed again. Somehow it felt imperative that he know the end of this story. That it would make everything else make sense.

“I went to him. That night, after everyone had gone to bed. I shouldn’t have. I should’ve just waited. But we were young, and any minute spent apart felt like too long.”

“And then?” Dan was now rubbing Phil’s back. He wasn’t sure if he was overstepping a boundary or not, but Phil sounded so anguished, he just couldn’t help it.

“His father. He’d gotten up in the middle of the night to apologize. But when he saw us together, he just… Lost it. Killed him immediately- I think he was aiming for me, if I’m being honest, but somehow I made it out. When Elizabeth heard what happened, she left him, set up shop in Nassau, and I… Well, I ended up here,” Phil finished, looking over at him for the first time since he started talking.

“Wow, that’s… Wow. I’m sorry you lost him. It sounds like you loved him a lot,” Dan replied, unsure what else to say. He’d never seen Phil this unguarded, and the whole thing was starting to make him feel a little lightheaded.

“I did. I do. I miss him everyday.”

“Is that why you’re so careless with your own life? It’s not worth living without him?” Dan asked, and regretted it the moment the words were out of his mouth. To his surprise, Phil just laughed sadly.

“Something like that.”

“With all due respect, Captain, that’s bullshit. Okay, so the love of your life was killed in front of you, that’s… I’m not gonna lie, that’s pretty bad. But that doesn’t mean life’s not worth living. Don’t you think you’ve kind of replaced James in Elizabeth’s eyes? How do you think she’d take it if you went out and got yourself killed?” Dan asked, standing up. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up about this, but the sight of Phil, seconds away from being thrown overboard kept replaying in his head, and he couldn’t get it to stop.

“Hey, calm down,” Phil replied standing up, “I’m not going to get myself killed. I know this lifestyle is dangerous. I just need to put together enough to make a decent living, and then I’ll stop.”

“Wait, really? You’d give up being a pirate captain?” Dan asked, taken aback. He’d expected Phil to see that the risks he was taking were a little unnecessary, to agree to be more careful in his planning, but quitting completely? He wasn’t expecting that at all.

“Piracy isn’t a life, Dan. You’re right, I’m all Elizabeth has. She’s all I have too. If I keep this up, it’s only a matter of time before...” Phil stopped. They fell silent after that, and Dan realized he was still standing there without his shirt. Phil seemed to realize this too, and handed it to him. Dan pulled it on and went to lean against the desk.

“So, after we get this treasure, that’s it?” Dan wondered.

“If you actually do know where it’s buried,” Phil quipped. Then, “Yeah, that’s it.”

Dan nodded slowly. “You know, I’ve never thought about that. About what I’d do after this. Elizabeth is all you have, but I don’t have anyone.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I’d be sad if you died,” Phil replied, surprising a laugh out of him, and walking over to lean against the desk. “Then who would be my first mate?”

“Your first mate, are you serious?” Dan asked, shocked.

“You saved my life, Dan. Yes, I’m serious. You have a lot to learn, but you learn quickly. I could use that,” Phil told him, completely sincerely. This whole day was too much, too many different emotions, too many sharp turns. It was like his emotions were a ship trying to sail through a storm- they were being pulled all kinds of different directions.

“Well, I’d have to think about it,” Dan joked, and Phil pushed him good naturedly.

“Go on, the crew’s going to want dinner.”

* * *

The ship pulled into the island off the coast of Spain at the end of the week. The crew was losing their spirit, their food had dwindled down to nothing but stale bread, and they hadn’t seen solid land in what seemed like forever.

“I’m just going to collapse face first on the sand,” Billy announced the minute the island came into view.

“Can I collapse next to you?” Dan asked, laughing.

“What, being holed up in the captain’s chambers night and day isn’t enough for you anymore?” Billy teased, ruffling his hair.

Dan knew he was joking, but his face still flushed a little. Ever since the night their ship had been raided, and he’d been appointed first mate, a kind of understanding had passed between them. So when he wasn’t listening to Max read, or drinking with the rest of the crew after a long day, he was in Phil’s chambers. Sometimes they’d just talk, sometimes Dan would relay details of the map he remembered so Phil could sketch it out, and sometimes they’d just occupy the same space for a while. It was nice. Too nice. Dan knew he probably should’ve put a stop to it, but he’d never met anyone that understood him the way Phil did. They’d developed a kind of rapport, and somehow they always knew what the other meant. He’d never had a friend like that before, but getting this attached was… Dangerous. Really dangerous. The ship was pulling onto the island though, so he didn’t have much time to dwell on it. There was no time limit on his plan, surely he could just… Enjoy this, for a little while.

“Alright, we should scour the island for food, and then look for shelter,” Phil instructed as they got off the ship.

“Can’t we just enjoy it first, for a little while?” Jack asked.

“Just for a few minutes. I’ll come with you to look for food,” Dan broke in before anything escalated. If there was one thing Phil hated, it was feeling like his authority was being challenged. Dan had asked, jokingly, if he was overcompensating for something, and Phil’s only reply was, “Everything.” So, sometimes in situations like this, Dan felt a little protective.

“Fine. Let’s go,” Phil replied after a moment, and Dan hurried after him further onto the island.

“Do you think there are people here?” Dan asked as they walked.

“On this tiny island? I doubt it,” Phil replied, bending down to inspect a bush. “I think I see fruit, but it might not be enough for everyone. We’re going to have to hunt.”

“Well, we’re on an island, we might as well catch some fish,” Dan said with a shrug.

“Good idea, we’ll catch some once everyone’s done laying around,” Phil agreed, standing up.

“You’re not mad about that, are you? Everyone’s just really tired, we’ve been at sea so long, they just want to enjoy being on land,” Dan explained quickly.

“I’m not mad. Sometimes I just get in my own head and forget to see what the rest of the crew wants. I’m glad you’re here to temper that,” Phil told him smiling, and there was that ridiculous urge to bristle with pride again. Dan suppressed it as best he could and smiled back.

“Now, let’s go get our swords. You need to be a lot more skilled if we run into the Spaniards again.”

Dan groaned, but followed Phil back to the beach. They gathered their swords, and found a spot on the beach out of sight from the rest of the crew.

“Okay, hold your sword out,” Phil instructed. Dan stood up straight and held his sword out.

“I could literally cut your head off your stance is so bad,” Phil said, shaking his head. He walked over and stood behind Dan, adjusting his sword in his hand.

“Make sure you have a good grip, or you’ll be easy to disarm,” Phil told him, and Dan pretended not to notice that his body suddenly felt very warm. “And make sure you’re standing your ground or you run the risk of getting knocked off your feet.”

“Okay, got it,” Dan replied. He felt Phil nod behind him, and step away.

“Ready?” Phil asked, picking up his sword.

“Ready,” Dan replied, making sure he was keeping his grip on his sword. Phil nodded, and got into position.

“Try and disarm me,” Phil told him. Dan slashed at him with his sword, but Phil’s sword met his, knocking it out of his hand.

“How did you do that?” Dan asked in disbelief, picking his sword up off the ground.

“Practice. Again?”

They spent the rest of the afternoon sword fighting. Or, really, Dan spent the rest of the afternoon having his ass handed to him. He watched Phil closely, watched the way he moved, and the way he sidestepped each of Dan’s attacks and catalogued them. Finally, in the last round he was able to keep himself from getting disarmed- he didn’t quite manage to disarm Phil, but he did manage to make him lose balance for a second there.

“Much better!” Phil said, clapping him on the back encouragingly.

“Not quite there yet though,” Dan replied, slightly disappointed in himself. He was usually much faster at picking things up- he’d become a pirate in weeks, and a cook in mere days. It was frustrating that this wasn’t coming as easily to him.

“You’ll get there,” Phil assured him, squeezing his shoulder. “But for now, we’d better go catch supper.”

That night, after everyone had set up camp and settled in for the night, Dan headed down to the beach. He sat down and looked up at the stars. He hadn’t cared about his last crew at all, at least not the way he felt he was starting to care about this crew. He knew them- knew that Jack got seasick sometimes and that it helped to sing, knew that Billy was about to be a father, knew that Max sometimes worried she couldn’t give Elizabeth the same life a man would be able to. And he knew Phil… Well, he just _knew_ Phil. Shockingly well. He’d be lucky to be the captain of a crew so good spirited and menacing at the same time.

“What are you brooding about?” Max asked, sitting down next to him and pulling him out of his thoughts.

“This is… A great crew. I think I’m really starting to care about everyone,” Dan admitted after a minute.

“That’s normal. We’ve all been through a lot together- almost dying twice, being at sea with nothing for entertainment but each other for weeks on end. That binds you to people,” Max told him, patting his shoulder good naturedly.

“This really has been some of the best times of my life,” Dan told her.

“That’s really sad, Howell,” Max teased, causing them both to laugh.

“Really, though. I mean that,” he said seriously.

“Well, the rest of the crew has really warmed up to you, especially now that you’ve proved yourself in a fight. If you still want the captaincy, now would be the time to challenge for it,” Max pointed out.

“You think so?”

“While we’re still riding a victory? Yeah. We could be attacked and completely defeated at any moment,” she told him.

“Doesn’t that scare you?” Dan asked, looking over at her.

“Of course it does. But that’s the life I chose, and I know I can handle myself,” she replied, shrugging.

“You’re a pretty good pirate, Max,” Dan said, which made Max laugh.

“Thanks. Now come on, let’s get some sleep on solid ground for once,” she replied, standing up and holding her hand out. Dan took it, standing up too, and they headed for camp.

* * *

 

 

A carrier bird came with word from Elizabeth about two weeks later. The Spanish navy had given up when they’d arrived to a basically empty Nassau, and it was now safe to return. The crew was gathering all the food they’d found on the island and bringing it onto the ship when Phil pulled Dan aside.

“I think we should go after that treasure now,” he explained quickly, lowering his voice so he wouldn’t be heard.

“What? But what about going back to Nassau? Elizabeth’s expecting us to be back soon,” Dan replied, confused.

“If the map we drew was right, we’re already so close. We can get the treasure, and return to Nassau as kings,” Phil pointed out excitedly. That was technically true, and Dan kind of had a hard time saying no to Phil when he got like this- all excited and passionate, his hands moving faster than his mouth. It was a side of him only Dan saw, as it would kind of ruin his tough pirate image if the rest of the crew saw how excited he got when he was talking about parrot mating cycles.

“Alright, let’s do it. But how are we going to convince the rest of the crew? Everyone really wants to go home.”

“That’s where you come in. They tolerate me, they have to. But they like you, they listen to you. I want you to be the one to bring it up,” Phil told him.

“Me, seriously?” Dan asked, shocked.

“Yes. Do you think you can do that?” Phil asked softly, searching his face, and Dan realized something- he was giving him a choice. Well, fuck.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that,” Dan replied, nodding.

“Perfect. Alright, let’s set sail.”

* * *

 

That night, the whole crew sat around the deck, enjoying fresh fish from the island. Dan was pretty proud of himself-he’d roasted them over a fire with almost no help at all. He was listening to Jack tell him a very animated story about how he’d lost his leg a few years ago after being caught with some guy’s wife, when a hush fell over the ship. He looked over to see what was going on. Phil was out of his chambers, which was pretty unusual unless there was a fight, or he was giving orders. He sat down next to Dan and gave him an encouraging smile. _Oh._ He was meant to do that now. He cleared his throat and stood up.

“Um… Attention everyone,” he called, but the rest of the crew kept eating and talking excitedly. He sighed, putting his hand in his mouth and whistling. The crew fell silent then, and he took a moment to congratulate himself on a job well done.

“I know we’re all excited to go back to Nassau, but I’ve discovered something that might change your minds,” he started, and then paused for the inevitable questions.

“What reason could we possibly have to stay at sea?”

“Treasure,” he answered, and listened as everyone started talking at once, whispers of how, what, where, surrounding him like a chorus. This was actually pretty fun.

“500,000 francs of Spanish gold, and only we know where it’s buried,” he continued.

“All in favor?” Phil asked, standing up next to him, and raising his hand.

“Aye!” the rest of the crew answered, each raising their hands. Everyone except Max, it seemed.

“Alright- the island where the treasure is buried shouldn’t be more than a few days journey, weather permitting. Let’s set the course,” Phil instructed, and everyone set to work.

Dan used the commotion to go see what Max looked so upset about.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, sitting next to her.

“I will be. I’m just… I’m worried about Elizabeth. What’s she going to think when we don’t return on time?” Max asked worriedly.

“She’ll be okay. She knows how tough you are, how skilled this crew is… Whatever set back she thinks we’ve come up against, she trusts us to get out of it,” Dan reassured her, patting her shoulder.

“Thanks, Dan. I’m glad you’re here,” Max replied, smiling at him gratefully, and he smiled back. He was glad to be here too.

* * *

 

The weather, it seemed, was not on their side. It was smooth sailing for about three days before a huge storm hit, showing the ship absolutely no mercy. There was no sitting around on the deck, laughing, eating, and telling stories of what they planned to do with their treasure. Rather, they went back and forth between protecting the sails from damage as best they could, and huddling in their cots, praying for the storm to pass. Dan realized the second night of the storm that he hadn’t seen Phil once since it started. He excused himself, and went to visit his chambers.

“Phil? It’s Dan,” he called knocking on the door.

“Come in,” Phil called back. Dan shut the door behind him and shook the rain out of his hair. Phil was sat on his cot, holding Lola close to his chest, and he looked even paler than usual.

“You okay?” Dan wondered, sitting down next to him.

“I’m… I don’t like storms,” Phil admitted, looking down.

“Well I don’t think anyone actually _likes-_ oh. Wait, are you scared of storms?” Dan asked, turning to face him.

“I’m not scared of anything,” Phil snapped, but Dan was pretty used to Phil’s tendency to revert to his persona when challenged, so he just shot him a look.

“Fine. Maybe a little. Dying at the hands of a soldier, or a rival crew is one thing, but being shipwrecked? Drowning or starving to death, and not being able to do anything? I wouldn’t be able to handle it,” Phil explained, meeting his eyes for the first time.

“Hey, it’s okay. As far as storms go, this is a pretty mild one. We’ve been protecting the sails, and we should be out of it in another day or so,” Dan reassured him.

“Okay… Okay, good,” Phil said, more to himself than to Dan.

“Will you be alright until then?” Dan wondered, watching the way Phil was holding on to Lola like a liferaft.

“Can you… Stay? Here, I mean. Until the storm ends. It helps when there’s someone else here,” Phil answered, looking everywhere but at him.

“Sure,” Dan answered without thinking, but the realization dawned on him pretty quickly. “There’s only one cot in here.”

“I don’t bite, Dan,” was all Phil said in reply, and Dan nodded slowly. They’d have to share then. Just the two of them, spending the night on this tiny cot… What had he gotten himself into?

“Okay, what helps you calm down- besides strangling your parrot?” Dan asked, and Phil looked down, seeming to remember that he was still holding Lola. He let her go, and she climbed up to his shoulder, nipping at his ear and ruffling her feathers indignantly, before perching there.

“I don’t know, talking I guess? Tell me a story. I feel like I don’t know anything about you,” Phil requested, laying down. Dan hesitated for a minute, and then laid down too. They were practically on top of each other, but it wasn’t altogether unpleasant.

“My life’s really not that interesting,” Dan answered. Usually this would be where he’d spin an elaborate tale of all the exciting adventures he’d had, but nothing was coming to him right now.

“It doesn’t have to be interesting. What was your mother like?” Phil asked, looking over at him.

“Kind. Loving. She liked to tell stories,” Dan replied, looking up at the ceiling.

“Where her stories any good?”

“The best. She’d tell ones about brave knights, fighting dragons, rescuing princesses… I used to want to be a knight when I grew up,” Dan told him, before he could really think better of it. He’d never told anyone that before. They had to stop talking about him. “What was James like?”

“He was the bravest person I’ve ever known. He cared so much about every person he met- he’d lay down his life for anyone who needed it. I didn’t deserve him.”

“He clearly thought differently. I bet Elizabeth does too,” Dan replied, looking over at him.

“You think?” Phil asked, looking back, his voice small. They were so close, Dan could see the flecks of green and yellow in Phil’s ridiculously, startlingly blue eyes. He just nodded, every word he knew falling out of his head.

“Thanks,” Phil said, smiling at him.

“Yeah,” Dan replied, but neither of them moved. They just lay there, staring at each other. _Was it always this hot in this room?_ Dan was wondering when Lola flew in between them, squawking.

“Sorry,” Phil said laughing, and sitting up, “she just wants a treat.” He got up and broke off a small piece of bread to hand to her, and whatever moment they’d been having passed. Dan couldn’t take anymore of this, whatever this was. He rolled over, and closed his eyes. He felt Phil lay down next him, but didn’t move.

“Good night, Dan.”

The next morning, Dan woke up, feeling strangely warm and secure for being on a moving ship. There were a pair of arms wrapped around him loosely, and he was going to try and get a few more minutes of sleep when he remembered- Phil. That was who was holding him right now. He sat up so quickly, he almost bumped his head.

“Dan?” Phil asked, blinking up at him sleepily, a sight that absolutely shouldn’t have warmed him the way it did. This was not good. This was not good at all.

“The crew’s gonna want breakfast. I should go,” he said, standing up.

“Oh. Okay- are you alright?” Phil wondered, sitting up.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. You should come eat with everyone below deck,” Dan said, and got out of there as fast as humanly possible. He went out onto the deck, and was surprised to see that it had stopped raining. A tiny part of him couldn’t help but be a little disappointed, but he shoved that feeling deep into the recesses of his mind where it belonged.

The storm had cleared, and they were back on course. They’d be at the island where the treasure was buried by nightfall. Dan stood leaning over the side of the ship, watching the ocean spread out in front of him.

“I have to hand it to you, you’ve really been an asset to this crew,” a voice said, breaking his thoughts- thoughts of kaleidoscope eyes and a bright laugh, and how dangerous that was. Dan turned to see Billy standing next to him.

“Hm?” he asked, still a little distracted.

“We wasn’t sure about you at first. Thought we might have to kill ya, but you’ve really proved yourself, bud,” Billy continued, just making Dan even more confused.

“Um… thanks,” he answered, unsure what else to say.

“The crew and I have been talking. After we get the treasure, we want you to take over as captain,” Billy told him, grinning like he’d just delivered the best news ever. Dan was going to be seasick.

“You want me to what?” he asked, shocked.

“Captain’s heart isn’t in it anymore, it hasn’t been for a long time. The only person that’s ever gotten through to him is you,” Billy explained, lowering his voice, so he wouldn’t be overheard. He stepped away from the side of the ship. “Just think about it.”

Dan did not want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about it at all. Here it was: everything he’d been working for. If he challenged Phil for the captaincy now, he’d have the support of the entire crew. It was all he’d ever wanted, to be the captain of a ship- so why was the promise of it filling him with dread? Dan shook his head, he didn’t have time for this right now. All he had to do in this moment, was lead everyone to the treasure. He’d figure the rest out later.

* * *

 

“Alright, Dan, you memorized the map, you lead the way,” Phil said that night as they were getting off the ship.

“You don’t want to wait until morning?” Dan asked, looking over at him. He’d been avoiding Phil ever since they spent the night together, so this was the first time he’d seen him. He hoped that avoiding him would make this feeling of warmth go away, but it was back, stronger than ever, the minute they were in the same space.

“We’re going to have to dig it up. I’d rather do that and then set up camp so we can leave first thing in the morning,” Phil explained as they walked further onto the beach.

“Alright,” Dan agreed, instead of pushing the issue. Billy’s words kept playing in his head, and he wanted to keep Phil happy for as long as possible. Phil trusted him, he could feel it, in the way he opened up to him about James, about his fears, and the way he was now following Dan blindly into the heart of a random island in the middle of the ocean. And Dan was going to betray that trust… He had to. Right? “Let’s get digging.”

Dan lead the rest of the crew to the heart of the island, everyone slashing down branches that were in their way as they moved. They came to a clearing in the middle of the island, and Dan took ten steps forward and stopped.

“Here,” he announced, stopping.

“You sure?” Phil asked, standing next to him.

“Yeah.”

“You heard him! Get digging,” Phil called to the rest of the crew.

They spent the rest of the night digging. Someone really should’ve warned Dan that finding the treasure was the most boring part of all this. Finally, after what seemed like forever, they hit something hard. With one last burst of energy, they dug even faster until they saw it- the treasure chest. Dan had memorized the map correctly! Inwardly, he breathed a huge sigh of relief. Billy and Jack jumped down with two of the other crew members to lift up the chest.

“We did it,” Dan said, breathlessly, turning to Phil.

“We did it,” Phil echoed back, grinning at him, and then they were hugging. Dan pushed all other thoughts aside, and enjoyed this moment- Phil’s arms being wrapped around him tightly while 500, 000 francs were being lifted out of the ground for them all to split. Phil could finally afford to leave this life, Dan realized when they pulled away. But he wouldn’t want to look cowardly- once they were on the ship, Dan would challenge his captaincy, and then they could both have the lives they wanted. That was it then… Where their paths diverged. He wished the thought didn’t make him so sad.

* * *

 

The first few days back on the ship were filled with excitement. Everyone was discussing the plans they had for their share of the treasure.

“I’m gonna build my baby a crib out of solid gold,” Billy told everyone, sounding as proud of himself as ever.

“Yeah, well I’m gonna buy out the entire whore house just for my own enjoyment,” Jack announced, and the whole crew fell into a fit of laughter. Dan waited until everyone calmed down and walked over to Billy.

“I thought about what you said- the day we found the treasure,” he started, sitting down next to him.

“And?”

“And, I’m gonna do it. This crew means everything to me, I’d be honored to be your captain,” Dan told him, and for once in his life, he wasn’t telling a story.

“Okay. Daybreak tomorrow, we’ll announce it. Have your sword ready,” Billy told him with a grave expression.

“What, why?”

“Because, challenging for the captaincy is only one part of it. In order to become captain, you have to fight and kill the current captain,” Billy explained. Dan very carefully set his face into a neutral expression and nodded.

“Okay. Tomorrow then.” Billy grinned and clapped him on the back. “You’re gonna do great, kid.”

Dan nodded, and stood up. He headed for Phil’s chambers careful to keep his mind completely blank. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or about the captaincy, or about having to… He didn’t want to think about it. Right now, he just wanted to see Phil one last time without any of that weighing on them.

“Dan? What’s wrong?” Phil asked when he saw him. So maybe he was getting kind of bad at hiding his emotions from Phil. He shook his head and closed the door behind him. He couldn’t talk. Not about this. Not about what he was feeling, and what was about to happen. No, instead, he was going to do something really selfish, and really stupid.

Dan walked over to where Phil was sitting on his cot, petting Lola. He took her out of his hands and placed her on the desk gently, before sitting down next to him. And then Dan did something he knew he really shouldn’t- he kissed Phil. Phil, who froze in surprise for a minute, before melting into him.

“Dan?” Phil asked again, pulling away slightly.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Dan replied, searching his face. This was the one thing he was absolutely not going to take without permission. Phil shook his head and lay back, pulling Dan with him.

“Don’t stop,” Phil said softly. So he didn’t.

* * *

 

Guilt was a new and awful emotion, Dan realized the next morning. Phil was still sound asleep, curled around him like a cat. He looked peaceful, happy, and Dan hated that he was about to take that away from him. Still, he had to get up before anyone noticed he was in here. He extricated himself from the human octopus wrapped around him and stood up.

“You’re leaving?” Phil asked, watching as Dan picked up his clothes and threw them on. “That’s my shirt.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, unless you want to explain this to the rest of the crew,” Dan replied looking around for his shirt. Phil held it up to him.

“Thanks,” he replied taking it. He stopped and leaned down to kiss Phil, deeply and slowly, one last time.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Phil asked, but he was already closing the door behind him.

* * *

 

The crew gathered around on deck, the air filled with excitement. Dan wished he was the same person he was months ago, when he’d first found himself face to face with Phil and saw nothing but a means to an end.

“Ready?” Billy asked, standing next to him. Dan nodded, even though he wasn’t ready for this, not even close. He twirled Phil’s sword around in his hands. Phil really had taught him everything he knew. He tried to be all intimidating and authoritative, but Dan knew better. Phil had such a big heart- he’d be content living isolated on an island with his parrot for the rest of time. And he’d let Dan see that side of him- he’d let Dan see every side of him. And here they were. Billy disappeared to go lure Phil out of his chambers, and Dan tried to steel his nerves.

“You’re really going to do this, huh?” Max asked, materializing next to him. What was with the members of this crew and doing that?

“I have to, Max,” Dan said. Even if he changed his mind, the crew was counting on him.

“You weren’t in your cot last night,” Max said, ignoring his reply completely.

“Max.”

“I’m not saying anything,” she said holding her hands up, but she looked at him pointedly when Billy walked back onto the deck, Phil behind him.

“What’s all this?” Phil asked, looking around. The whole crew was gathered. There was no turning back now.

“I’m… I’m challenging you for your position as captain,” Dan announced, fixing his gaze to the space above Phil’s shoulder. He couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the hurt and confusion in his eyes. It would almost certainly destroy him.

“I accept your challenge,” Phil replied, voice cold. Dan’s head snapped up, he couldn’t help it. Phil’s face was completely closed off, set in that cold determination Dan hadn’t seen directed at him for months. _Ouch_. He deserved that, didn’t he.

“Alright, come on.” Billy lead them to the center of the deck.

“Swords at the ready.” Dan and Phil held up their swords, and Billy held them in the air between them.

“When I let go, you fight. And you don’t stop until one of your heads is on the floor. Our new captain is whoever keeps his head,” Billy instructed, before letting go and stepping back.

And it began- Dan made sure to keep his stance steady, and keep his grip on the sword tight. He tried not to remember exactly who taught him that, and swung his sword. Phil’s sword met his immediately, and he would’ve disarmed him if Dan had a weaker grip. Dan swung forward again. Phil was meeting him blow for blow, but Dan kept moving forward. He thought for sure he had him, but Phil swung his sword forward with more force than Dan had ever seen him use. He jumped back quickly, narrowly avoiding having his hand cut off.

Dan tried to remember each of Phil’s moves from when he taught him and mirrored them the best he could. His form was still a little off, but he barely noticed. He was dimly aware they were being watched, the crew surrounding them on all sides, but to Dan, it was like they weren’t there at all. It was like they were back on the beach training, just them and the sounds of their swords clashing, again and again. Phil’s sword would come at him, and he’d have to jump back to avoid getting his throat sliced open. Then Dan would use the time Phil spent regrouping to aim his sword at Phil’s legs, but he was always ready for it, jumping over Dan’s sword easily, and causing Dan to stumble backwards.

After they’d been fighting for what felt like hours, Dan started to worry they’d be fighting each other for hours, at an impasse, never able to defeat the other. But then he noticed Phil’s grip on his sword loosening. Dan was slightly taken aback for a second- he’d never once seen Phil lose his grip on his sword. He wasn’t fighting at his fullest. He’s started out in a rage, coming at Dan with everything he had, and for him to lose control at a time like this was so unlike him. What was he doing? Dan was filled with a level of guilt he didn’t even know was possible, but he had to finish this. He  took the opportunity and shoved his sword forward, slashing Phil’s sword at the hilt, and causing the sword to fall out of his hand, cutting it a little in the process.

Phil froze, looking up at him in shock. Dan held up his sword to Phil’s neck. He could do it. He could cut his head off right now, and he’d have everything he ever wanted. He could be the captain of a crew he admired and respected, returning to Nassau with 500,000 Spanish francs to their name. Phil was looking at him with those sea colored eyes, a quiet determination in them. He was accepting defeat. Dan couldn’t do this. He dropped his sword.

“What are you doing, Howell? Finish him!” Billy called, stepping forward. Dan just shook his head and sank down to his knees onto the deck. He’d rather face the wrath of the entire crew than go through with this. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t do it.

“If that’s all, I’ll be in my chambers,” Phil said evenly, turning and walking back to his chambers.

“The fuck was that?” Jack asked, picking up Dan’s sword. Dan tensed, fully expecting to be killed right then and there, but Jack just held out his other hand to help him up.

“I couldn’t do it,” Dan told him, not looking up.

“Not everyone’s meant to be a killer,” Jack answered, nodding. “But you put up a good fight.”

“Really? You guys aren’t going to like… Throw me overboard?” Dan asked, looking up at everyone as he let Jack help him up.

“Nah. We’re kind of attached to you, Howell. Captain’s probably not too happy with you though,” Billy said nervously, looking towards Phil’s chambers. _Shit._ Phil. Dan barely heard another word as he ran towards Phil’s chambers. He opened the door without knocking to see Phil sitting down at his desk, Lola on his shoulder.

“So, what, you thought you’d get my guard down? I’d put up less of a fight if I was attached to you?” Phil asked, not looking up. His words crashed onto Dan like a bucket of ice water.

“No, of course not,” he started to reply, but Phil kept going.

“I trusted you. I can’t believe I actually let myself- and after all these years, I actually…” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “You should’ve just killed me. It would’ve hurt less.”

“I couldn’t do it. I was selfish and stupid, and I’m sorry, but just know that I couldn’t do that to you,” Dan explained, as best he could. There was one, very big thing he wasn’t saying, but he wasn’t sure Phil wanted to hear it right now.

“Why not?” Phil asked, looking up at him for the first time since he’d walked in.

“Because… You try and be this tough, scary guy, but you love birds, and cooking, and jumping out at me when I’m not expecting it. And you take care of Elizabeth, and you’re always watching out for Max so he can go home to her. And every time I look into your stupid, fucking, ridiculously blue eyes, it feels like home. And that’s a feeling I’ve never had before, and it’s scary, but I like it. And I shouldn’t have let the crew get into my head. Being captain would be great, but not without you.”

Silence fell between them then, heavy and loaded. It was the most honest Dan had ever been with another person, and he didn’t know where they were supposed to go from here. Phil stood up and walked over to him.

“You really fucking hurt me just now,” he told him.

“I know,” Dan answered, nodding quickly.

“I… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again,” Phil continued, moving even closer. Dan froze, unsure how to react. He looked down, noticing the wound on Phil’s hand.

“Can I?” Dan asked, taking Phil’s hand in his. Phil didn’t say anything, so Dan took that as a yes and set to work cleaning the wound. They just stood there, Dan pressing a wet rag into Phil’s had for what felt like ages, until Dan couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“I fucked up, I know I did. And you don’t ever have to trust me again. You can kill me, exile me, whatever you need to do. I deserve it,” he continued, not looking up from where he was dressing Phil’s wound.

“Just go, Dan,” Phil said, taking his hand back, and Dan pretended not to notice how broken he sounded.  

The crew jumped up when Dan walked back out onto the deck, surrounding him.

“So? You a look like a dead man walking?” Jack said, but even Dan could hear the carefully masked worry in his voice.

“Honestly… I have no idea,” Dan replied, still shaken from everything that had happened, and before he knew it, Max was hugging him. He hugged her back tightly, trying to communicate how grateful he was to have met her without saying a word. “We’re proud of you, kid. We’ll miss you if you end up being seafood,” Billy told him, clapping him on the back, and it was such a perfect, ridiculous thing to say, Dan had to laugh.

* * *

 

The rest of the voyage was tense, and quiet. No one seemed in the mood to discuss their plans for the treasure, or to drink themselves stupid when bored. Dan brought Phil his meals as usual, but Phil barely even looked at him when he entered. Eventually, Dan couldn’t take it anymore.

“Can you say something? Please? Even if it’s, ‘Dan, I’ve decided to brutally murder you in front of the whole crew.’ Just something, anything,” he pleaded. At least that would be a definitive- he couldn’t handle living in this limbo any longer.

“... I considered it,” Phil replied after a minute.

“And?” Dan pressed, relieved to hear Phil’s voice again.

“Couldn’t do it,” Phil told him, looking up at him. It was the first time their eyes had met since the day of the fight, and it physically pained Dan that he’d gone and destroyed this thing between them… whatever it had been.

“Why not?” Dan risked asking.

“I kept trying to talk myself out of it, but for some reason, even after all this, I’m still in love with you. You’d think I’d have more self respect than that,” Phil finished,standing up, and walking over to him, and Dan honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“I’m kind of in love with you too, you know,” he said, because no matter what, he just really needed Phil to know that.

“Funny way of showing it,” Phil said, and yeah, Dan kind of deserved that one.

“I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you will let me,” Dan said softly. This moment felt fragile, like if he spoke too loud, he would shatter it completely.

“You’re gonna be working at it a long time, Howell,” Phil replied, but he was smiling now, which was a relief.

“I can do that,” Dan replied smiling back, and then they were kissing, desperate and frantic. Phil pushed him up against the desk, and Dan fisted his hand in his hair. Dan’s head was spinning from all the emotions he was going through, but if there was one thing he could spend forever doing, it was this. Phil pulled away entirely too soon, and smirked at him.

“You’d better.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it ^_^
> 
> [read and reblog on tumblr](https://www.obsessive-fics.tumblr.com/post/173429912606/title-letting-you-sink-in-rating-t-word)


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